Government sources are today refusing to comment on the authenticity of an alleged leaked budget document.  The memo claims that along with a new tax band for higher earners, the reintroduction of third level fees, and an increase in tax on cigarettes and alcohol, Limerick will be decommissioned.

Local people are outraged at the news.  "I've voted Fianna Fail all my life and this is how they reward me," says Thaddeus Flynn, a fitter from Ennis Road in Limerick City. "It's as if I never existed."  In fact, from an undisclosed date during summer 2009,  Thaddeus may indeed cease to officially exist. 

Reactions from other parts of the country to the news are mixed. "The public service is experiencing cutbacks and the private sector is in bits," says Irish speaker and avid swimmer Ellen Sweeney of Spiddal, Galway.  " I guess somewhere had to go.  I'm just glad it wasn't the Gaeltacht or, say, beaches and lakes."

Local TD, Denis Murphy was unavailable for comment by phone, though some rumours suggest that Eircom have already begun pulling out their lines in anticipation of the Government's unprecedented move.  Large tracts of Limerick were already uncontactable yesterday afternoon.

Opposition spokesperson for rural affairs, Eibhlis Crowe, was incensed.  "This is a callous and mindless move by a government bereft of ideas.  And again, they've hit the common man.  If they are going to take this approach, why not decommission something that hits those who fared best from the Celtic Tiger, like golf clubs, or Dalkey & Killiney?"

Economics expert Fionn McCarthy points out that we must look at the positives of the decommissioning of Limerick.  "Think of the employment opportunities. Mothballing a whole jurisdiction is a huge undertaking, requiring  thousands of man-hours.  Perhaps some of Limerick's unemployed could take part in the operation before the final decommissioning date."

McCarthy claims that, like when Ireland introduced the smoking ban, or quickly reacted to the banking crisis, all eyes are on the Republic to see how this strategy fares.  "This is a master stroke by the government. I'm sure the UK are looking at this move, thinking they could do something similar, perhaps in Hull or Scarborough."

"Of course," he adds, "at a future date, I'm sure that Limerick could be brought back onstream, but current predictions suggest this would happen at the earliest in 2011."

The fate of Limerick is not yet known, though sources in the Fannin textile plant in Carlow have revealed they have just received an order to create the biggest single tarpaulin in the factory's history.  Eddie Elvery, manager at Fannin, reported that the tarp stretches "many miles" and could indeed cover a small county, "but it's the length of the string around it that's really impressive," he added.

SWL Storage, who have the contract to store some of the government's e-voting machines, have also reported receiving an inquiry about storing an unprecedented amount of inventory.  "Someone claiming to be from the National Archives was asking if we could provide a large water storage solution," said a source who'd prefer not to be named. "I asked how large, and he replied, 'about the size of an estuary.'"

- Eric Kennord